“Comparison is the thief of joy”
“Are you tired of performing? Feeling weighed down by the pressure to be Pinteresting?
Does your friend’s wardrobe, body, marriage, paycheck, vacation plans, or photo shoot-worthy home décor leave you wishing your life looked more like that?
You’re not alone.
With its focus on smarter, faster, thinner, and ever-better, our cultural obsession with comparison is undercutting relationships and sapping contentment. Our friends become our audience (or judges), and our titles, activities, even kids become part of our brand. Factor in social media’s constant reminder of what everyone else is doing, and no wonder we feel drained, discontent, and isolated.
Thankfully, we don’t have to live this way” says author and blogger Kay Wills Wyma.
Whether we like it or not, we are currently living in a society and global community where we are constantly comparing each one of our lives with other people’s and it is a perpetual state of overexposure or “in your face” or “I have more than you, more than anyone, therefore I am superior or in better position”. This attitude some people have, display or plain simply rub it in your face is rampant these days and is even more emphasized thanks to Social Media.
I will be honest and admit that comparison starts at an early age and within our own family, especially between siblings and then friends or unknown persons. Who gets more attention or praise for the material things they have or get before anyone else, “stuff” to exhibit or parade with before the world, while we simply look on?
Being the youngest in my family, I know this first hand. I had to find my way, catch up with everyone around me. What’s even more interesting until this day (and I say this humbly) is that, even if they had time to their advantage, I can be proud of some of the things that I have accomplished or obtained thanks to my own time, effort and will. It was not easy but I sure am grateful for having been able to do so and always make it a top priority to be grateful for everything, whether it is good or not so good.
In her book “I’m Happy For You…Sort Of…Not Really”, author Kay Wills Wyma explores this current obsession in our society while sharing some downright hysterical family stories that happen on a daily basis right in her own home which is composed of five children with their own peculiar nickname which also reflect their distinct personality
As a caring, loving and modern mother, Kay reminds us all the troubles that comparison causes not only at home but in our lives between family members, friends, neighbors, communities, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY in order to be accepted or pretend to be and obey to what society dictates.
These days we are always caught or addicted to the comparison game especially on Social Media where the Joneses, Smiths or anyone else is trying to outdo the other, which by the way is simply exhausting!
There will always be people who want more, have more and be more. There is just no way of staying on top of it, so what the author suggests is to run our own race and let others run theirs!
UNEXPECTED ADVENTURE MAKES FOR A BETTER STORY
Just to try what this felt like (and the book definitely inspired me) I tried an experiment last week after I finished reading the book.
Actually it was a much-needed break, a digital detox that was way overdue and I am so glad I did it.
I had been so exhausted in the past days and weeks that it literally made me sick (mentally and physically). I know understand what blogger burnout is all about; it’s not good at all! Thus I decided to put things on hold, actually I decided to be inactive on all my accounts and blog (which is my passion and I’ve been working so hard on it for over four and a half years).
Today marks a week that I stepped away from it. To my surprise, I saw upon my return that I received more visits to the blog than when I actually post 2 or 3 times a week and gotten more messages even if I did not publish anything!
What does this say? Well, from what I can see people have been watching my every move carefully or a close eye on EVERY single channel just to find out what I am doing or not and want to keep updated. Isn’t that something?
I mean the only benefits I can draw from this experience is that besides getting lots of rest and release built up pressure is that I have slept more and better and I have lived life, truly!
I have seen sunrises and sunsets, grey and cloudy skies, I’ve walked outside in the cold November rain and breathe in fresh air without being in a hurry, got to read REAL books (2 to be precise), think and plan my future projects, job search, cooked for family members, contact people who really do make a difference in my life and don’t judge me or bring me down and accept me for who I am right now.
As a result of this week of detoxing from the digital work and deep thinking (and change), I have received more emails and offers, including some from some people I worked with in the past (we’re talking about years!).
I feel lighter, more confident, have clearer thoughts, and see little details that I might have overseen prior to this. It was the mental reboot I needed or was looking for. This was a really good one I must say. It is the CRTL-ATL-DEL action as Kay Wills Wyma calls it and trust me my doctor would gladly put his stamp of approval on this one 🙂
Even though my rankings have suffered tremendously, that’s ok. I will continue to share, inform, educate and entertain while always including my two cents in my writing and on the blog because that makes me truly happy and serves as a communication vehicle between me and my readers around the world, for which I am truly grateful.
The right people, connections and opportunities will present themselves, of that I am sure of.
Whatever may come my way, I am prepared and I certainly wish everyone a very sincere: “I am really happy for you!”
Now I turn it over to you.
Do you sometimes find yourself comparing your life to other people?
Do you think that Social Media has come to distort reality or is a competition on a daily basis or can it be used for greater good?
Have you ever done a “Digital Detox”?
So many questions I know but I so want to read all about!
Until next time!
All the best,
About the Author
Photo credit: The Moat Blog
Kay Wills Wyma is a blogger, mother of five, and the author of Cleaning House through which she has appeared on The TODAY Show, CNN, Glenn Beck, The New York Times, Focus on the Family, and more. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. Kay lives in the Dallas area with her husband, Jon, and their family.
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AMAZON – I’m Happy For You…Sort Of…Not Really
Disclaimer: Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a free sample of the product in exchange for this review and post.
GIVEAWAY (US AND CANADA ONLY)
Would you like to win a copy of “I’m Happy For you…Sort Of…Not Really?”
It’s simple. Simply leave your info in the comment section and tell us a bit about you and what you think of comparison in our society today.
Only one entry per mailing address per giveaway. If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller / FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win. If you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again. Winner is subject to eligibility verification.
One winner will be chosen randomly on Friday, December 4th 2015 at Noon (EST). To be notified, make sure you include your site or social media profile where you can be reached.
I wish you all the best of luck 🙂